ON TO THRIFT TOWN but before we get there one little aside about my favorite citrus flavored, marginally alcoholic beverage, sparks plus. can i just say for the record that the black top for the can was a brilliant idea, just to let everyone who sees you drinking it (which preferably should only be close friends and family) know that you're not f-ing around, that you're out for action and adventure with your additional 1% of alcohol per can? is that really worthy of the word "plus?" i was expecting, i don't know, like potato flavor or additional caffeine (which i also had an idea about, forthcoming) or something, not just a measly one percent beef up on the proof end of things. anyway here's my idea for the next-gen superbeverage. so you've got your sparks, conveniently available from any gas station, pretty much anywhere in the continental united states by this point. now, i've also noticed in my recent travels, the emergence of a wonderful little invention called a STOK™ caffeinated coffee shot. if you've not seen them yet, they're basically like little plastic creamer containers, but instead of cream they hold more or less the chemical equivalent of a shot of espresso. no refrigeration required, just a straight shot of caffeine, made to go directly into your shitty gas station coffee to beef up your morning routine a bit, i imagine.
BUT OKAY SO here's where we think outside the box, or at least outside the gas station coffee dispensing box area. take the sparks (or sparks plus if you're really feeling sinister). crack open the sparks. take your STOK™ caffeinated coffee shot (also available in sweetened version). POUR your STOK™ caffeinated coffee shot into your sparks (or sparks plus if you prefer).
bam. you've just made yourself a STarK (or spOkes, i don't know). SUPER caffeine, with the gentle relaxing hint of booze to keep you from straight up flying off the handle and murdering someone. i just thought it up tonight but i promise, gentle reader, i will try it out tomorrow, if not first thing then at least like second thing. soon, anyway. just please no one do this until i try it out on myself, i can't afford a "wrongful death through bad blog advice" lawsuit. is that a thing that can happen?
okay moving on, thrift town on winchester is kind of out in the middle of nowhere, from where i live anyway, but it's so cool and weird and vibrant and unique that it's definitely indispensable in the memphis thrift store hierarchy...according to me, anyway
BIG big store, tons of clothes, really just a huge huge place, lots of mens and women's clothes at reasonable prices, along with the usual assortment of silly housewares and furniture
this was the first thing i really stopped and looked at. the perfect gift for the female taurus in your life who loves EXTREMELY tacky plastic purses
twinge of regret that i didn't pick this up. i think this is so brilliant, and indicative of what's fun and great about haunting thrift stores - obviously homemade and home assembled, but so lovingly done and seriously crafted and HUGE (had to be 20 x 30 at least) that it just...you can't help but be impressed. my wife talked me out of it and she might be right, it might not have a place on our living room wall, but god damn if it's not a steal for seven bucks. if it's there the next time i come through i might just have to buy the damn thing on principle
on the shelf underneath the aforementioned picture, a one two punch of kid cuteness...i also had the thought that it's kind of a shame that they don't make footwear like this for adults - goofy galoshes with weird ass cartoon faces on them, or rather that it's not socially acceptable to wear that kind of crap around, even if it is being produced currently. made me jealous of your average little snotnosed brat in a way that i am not, usually
want this too. want this so badly. have no good reason to want it, but want it anyway. working on opening up my own business has given me this strange license to desire stupid objects (e.g. partially broken coin operated peanut dispensers) for no reason really, but try to justify it by saying "we could use it in the shop somewhere" which although technically true, is still extremely, extremely stupid. $13
as long as we're talking about broken shit that i want anyway, there are a plethora of these all-in-one, record/8 track/radio receiver/speaker units from all sorts of time periods (50s/60s/70s/80s) that just look like they would REALLY, REALLY, tie the room together, if you get my meaning. they are all universally crappy and busted up and outdated and more or less not worth the money, but if you've got the right eye, and any kind of imagination, they are ALWAYS tempting. always
before i get into the books, a couple of other observations, hopefully short. i've never seen a whole rack of just busted up, used curtains/blinds/whatever before. this is a great example of my biggest beef with most secondhand/resale stores - i understand you need to fill the shelves, and people come through (myself included) and buy the strangest shit from time to time, and it would be a shame to have to throw it away anyway, but for god's sake, when the answering machine has literally been split in half by a masterful strike from a japanese katana, why do you need to even mark it down to a quarter? no one wants it! sorry if this seems a little overly hostile but i've been looking at too many shelves full of obviously broken electronics (like the components are not even salvageable type broken) for too long, and seen too too many dumpsters full of perfectly serviceable books (PLEASE do not even get me started on that) to be able to keep my mouth shut any more. anyway moving on
i also saw this, which i don't get either. HUGE magazine racks, full of magazines, from like several years ago or more, that no matter how much i wrack my brain i can't imagine anyone wanting to buy, yet many, many thrift stores dutifully stock them. really though honestly i mean unless you knew someone who had been in a coma since like september 2004 and had just come out of it and you wanted to slowly acclimate them back into society and popular culture, is there any conceivable reason to buy an issue of US weekly from that particular point in history
okay on to the books. mostly too expensive and not any kind of organization or selection, but some funny stuff popped up, like this one: BEER: THE BOOK
a word about this. if you go to any thrift type store that sells books and look around for long enough, you will find a book by jane roberts, or rather by "seth," the being she claimed to have channelled for well over a decade. "seth" holds forth on all sorts of metaphysical issues (i'm actually reading the damn book right now, it's in my bathroom) at length, and i mean LENGTH, and although i can't really disagree with a lot of the points that she/he/it/whatever makes, i can at least vouch for the fact that it's hella boring to read, which probably explains why infinity copies of what should be a really soul-stirring book keep turning up in every thrift store on the planet. "it's not what you say, but how you say it" i guess. what a pain in the ass
a shot of cognac to go with your beer
i actually ended up accidentally swiping this, i just put it in my pocket because i find billy jack so freaking hilarious. always makes me think of the poochy rap from the simpsons- "i'm a kung fu hippie from gangster city" = billy jack
one last thing before we go. i can't figure this f*cking thing out. it's a stool, presumably a footstool (about a foot and a half long), but it's made (and clearly resurfaced, reupholstered at home) from the part of the jeans that goes over the ass. so my question is this: would you feel comfortable resting your feet (or god forbid, your ass) on a stool that was made from what is basically an ass itself? i said hell no, but my wife thinks it's cute, likes the aesthetic, etc. a rare point of total disagreement between us two, anyone else feel free to chime in.
total spending:
ladies $2.48
mens $6.98 (FINALLY found a black sport coat)
total w/tax: $10.34
plus $12.02 in previous purchases equals
$22.36 so far
Thrift Town
6646 Winchester Rd Memphis TN
370-6797
hours: (could be inaccurate)
8-9 mon-sat
12-7 sun
GOOD FRIDAY SALE 3/21
1/2 OFF EVERYTHING 9AM-9PM
music: easy listening, lite rock
michael buble "home" (or some such)
tim mcgraw (i think) "when the stars go blue" written by ryan adams, always leaves a bad taste in my mouth
p.s. i don't even know if this is worth mentioning or not but the people at thrift town see fit to bring it up so i will too: thrift town is a "for-profit" thrift store, meaning essentially that their earnings don't go to benefit any sort of charitable organization. if you look into it there's a lot of grey area between what exactly a "charity" is and what a profitable organization is, and i'm not even throwing myself in the middle of that debate, suffice to say that they saw fit to mention it so i'll pass it along.
anyway vaya con huevos and i'll catch you at the next stop
d
i liked the ass stool. it's creative.
ReplyDelete