here's andy wise's "stand your ground" report that aired recently on action news 5. this report details investigators apparently finding prescription drugs in a suitcase in the children's aisle at the park avenue thrift store. it also features, i suppose as a point of comparison, the MIFA store and its manager, Scotta Allen. watch it, please, it's short.
i have mixed feelings about this. i've been to the park ave thrift store many, many times since i came to memphis, i've met the manager, talked with him (at length) and i can say from personal experience that although their store is large and chaotic, there's nowhere near the atmosphere of neglect and disregard for basic personal safety that seems to exist in this video. the fact remains (if you believe one reporter's account, which i have no reason to DISbelieve necessarily, i'm just saying) that it was a genuinely dangerous fuckup on the part of the staff and supervisors, and it could have ended much worse than it did, but if you'd care to dig a little deeper with me for a moment...
it's to be expected. i don't like to endorse the perspective that secondhand stores are somehow inherently dangerous or unfriendly places, but what you're dealing with is a massive, overwhelming, endless stream of inscrutable junk flowing in from lord only knows where to a staff of (GENERALLY) underpaid, undertrained, undermotivated "sorters" who have the less than enviable job of trying to sift out the obviously useless, poisonous, unsaleable or otherwise broken merchandise from the material that ends up on the sales floor for you to buy for 1.99. i hear these people working, all day long, on the other side of paper thin walls, and trust me, it's not a job you want. the fact of the matter is they do a better job than you'd believe (my own consumer-end gripes notwithstanding) of pulling out the stuff that's genuinely dangerous or otherwise unsuitable for mass consumption. could be park ave, could have been any goodwill in town, could be... fuck, could be ANY thrift store in memphis or anywhere else that i've ever been. you're going to find toys that have been ruled "unsafe" by any number of regulatory commissions. you're going to find products that have probably been recalled at one point or another. hell, you're going to find clothes that have no business residing on the body of man or beast, at any point in history.
IT'S A THRIFT STORE!
it's to be expected.
that being said, i can't fault someone like Scotta Allen for trying (and as far as i can tell so far, succeeding) to take it to the next level at a place like the MIFA store. i don't want to hide any cards here, she's been a longtime reader of this internet blogging space, but i genuinely think she's probably doing some good things down at the store, so i don't have any reservations about saying so. they started a blog. there's an email list. and although they've CUT THEIR SATURDAY HOURS BOO!!!! i still think they're trying to do something good there, and not at the expense of any of the other stores in town. they've been cutting out kids' toys, stuffed animals, anything unregulated or unsafe or otherwise unpresentable for months, they probably take more care in sorting out incoming material than any other thrift store in town (maybe) but the fact remains...
they're the exception to the rule. is that a shot against them? of course not. is it a shot against the park ave store? no way. is it a shot against andy wise or his investigators? no. a worse cynic than i would:
doubt the veracity of this reporter's findings
suggest how easy it is to get into any thrift store on planet earth and plant evidence
point out the fact that every single salvation army i've ever been into has had at least one outdated piece of "child's safety equipment"
perhaps for a moment put the responsibility on the parents to verify the functionality of something they're entrusting their children's lives to
but the fact of the matter is i spend a lot more time in thrift stores than anyone probably should, and i can see this happening the way it's played out in the news report. i don't think it was manipulative or unseemly of scotta allen to point out that her store takes extra precautions about the material they put out, i don't think it was wrong of the manager of the park ave store to be shocked and unhappy about the issue, and i don't think it was wrong of andy wise to pursue the story (assuming it just neatly fell in his lap, like it seemed to). i'd just like to remind people that it's probably deserving of a little deeper thought than a very brief news article provides, and remind you that as always, you cannot have your cake and eat it too, and that in a place where you can dress yourself, furnish your apartment, and entertain your kids for less than it costs the average american to watch basic cable for a year, a LITTLE extra work on your part as a consumer MIGHT occasionally be required.
does that mean that you should expect to find poisonous pills in every suitcase? fucking of course not, but it's not (ever) going to be the safe, sanitized, child-friendly utopia that perhaps this new class of economically challenged americans (as in all of us) would like to believe it is. it's thrifting, folks. your hands will get dirty. they should, anyway. just be smart and everything will be fine.
until next time
your pal
d
Showing posts with label MIFA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MIFA. Show all posts
12/17/08
what is it? (1)
cable box? no. electric compass? no, that makes no sense. intercontinental ballistic missile aimer? maybe, but i doubt it.
never mind, youtube has the answer!
awesome
12/16/08
comic nerds ahoy
just thought you'd like to know that the MIFA store (corner of vance and east downtown, check the map) has a couple of shelves worth of well preserved small press comics from the eighties - stuff like "JUSTICE MACHINE" here which while perhaps not the medium's finest achievement, is still pretty interesting (and basically like crack if you're a total comics nerd like me). i didn't notice until i was walking out the door but they're half off too, or they were that day at least so if you've got a buck fifty to spare then
THUNDER BUNNY CAN BE YOURS
there's some dumb stuff like hot rod magazines mixed in and whatnot but if you feel like sifting through that nonsense you could snag a whole lot of comics that are (trust me) IMPOSSIBLE to find in this shape at this price anywhere else...for financial and storage reasons i had to pass but i really hope they find a good home.
also of note currently at MIFA: 15 pack cases of Propel™ Invigorating Water (Citrus Flavor) for 2.50 and little boxes of white taper candles for a buck a pop and who doesn't need some of those?
luv ya kids be back soon
d
10/3/08
10/3/08 - MIFA Store, Salvo Danny Thomas
hi all. back again like that itchy rash the doctor told you would go away if you JUST STOPPED SCRATCHING IT FOR A WHILE fer crissakes, it's bitter/books, bravely trundling through the arid tundra of memphis tennessee's thrift stores, junk shops, and secondhand emporiums to show you the soft creamy nougat center of the proverbial wow i am so bored with writing this sentence already, forget it.
this week we swung through one of the more obscure thrift stores in the memphis area, but one of my favorites nonetheless: the metropolitan inter-faith association's thrift store on vance st, near downtown. i say "obscure" only because it's not listed in the phone book or your average google search for thrift stores in the greater memphis tn area (although it's proudly displayed on my lovingly handcrafted google map in the right column), and it's on kind of an out of the way street in kind of an out of the way neighborhood, but there's a lot of great stuff there, if you can stand the hideous freaking lighting
i always get a giggle out of this sign on the way in - "vulnerable" adults could mean so many different things...i mean, isn't everyone vulnerable to something? thankfully i was riding with the incredible hulk on this visit so he was okay to stay in the car by himself, as long as i left the windows cracked a little bit.
i've made no great secret of my love for old, sturdy, well constructed appliances in the past, and the mifa store usually has a few goodies to scratch that particular itch. while i'll confess to not knowing EXACTLY what a beater/sweeper is, if it walks like a vacuum cleaner and quacks like a vacuum cleaner...you get the drift.
this is perhaps a little overenthusiastic on the part of the staff. i'm not talking about the price (which is a little high, to be fair) as much as the fact that they bothered to write "vintage" on the label. we get it. the shit's old, it's cool, they don't make stuff like this any more and if they did you wouldn't be able to afford it, so just buy it already. we (the general shopping public, whom i now apparently feel qualified to speak for) can figure all that stuff out on our own without you (the general thrift store employee population) having to write "vintage" on the label for us. this is really getting my goat for some reason...i think if i had a white glove on i would take it off right now and slap this picture across the face and demand that it duel me with pistols for having insulted my intelligence so. i demand satisfaction!
so, true to form, i've been looking for a vcr my last few visits (the one i got from amvets on presley for $5 turned out to be a dud - these are the chances we take, people) and as always, the universal rule of thrifting has held true:
WHEN YOU WALK INTO A THRIFT STORE LOOKING FOR ONE SPECIFIC THING, IT AUTOMATICALLY DISAPPEARS.
carve it into a stone tablet. a not too beat up, not too ancient vcr for less than $10/15 bucks that's not the size of a sherman tank and looks like it might actually work. i know it's out there, it's just like finding true love...you have to stop looking.
AWWWWWWW....
liberace and edgar allan poe's time-traveling man-baby love child had this in his bathroom for a while but he had to get rid of it because it clashed with his toilet paper
what a bunch of knobs
so perhaps can anyone who's been to this particular store before in the past verify for me that this huge shelving unit stuffed to the gills with plushy animals has always been there? because i really feel like i never noticed it before. maybe (not so much of a stretch here) i just don't pay enough attention to stuffed animals, that's definitely been a valid criticism leveled against your humble narrator before, but it really felt like i was stumbling across this stuff for the first time - very strange.
had i an infant, toddler, or otherwise diminutive human in my care (god forbid), i would probably buy them some of these, but i can also understand why parents might be a little reluctant. i mean they're basically impossible to clean (you can only use so much antibacterial febreze on something before you're basically just abusing it) and you know your kid is going to just put it all sorts of in their mouth, and they're kind of the definition of "you don't know where that's been." but i would probably get one or two for my demon spawn, if for no other reason then to fight the ever rising tide of inoculations and sanitizations and immunizations that is creating superbugs and superviruses and superdiseases left and right, that will someday mutate into sentient life forms and kill us all. germs are not automatically evil, people...you're supposed to get sick occasionally, even your kids. do you really want humanity to be wiped off the face of the earth by a gigantic talking streptococcus bacteria because you couldn't put down the purel? do you?
someday i will take a transatlantic steamer, and this will be my luggage.
yes, even the lamp shade.
some nifty books this time out. i already have a copy or two of this or i probably would have snagged this one too. this kind of stuff (trivia books) is usually the best bathroom reading there is, hands down. comic strip collections get old real quick, any kind of prose is impossible, and i'm sorry but i just cannot take poetry seriously while i'm crapping. call me lowbrow if you want.
all you need to put on the front to get my attention is "companion to the pbs television series." in thriftspeak that translates to "hello. i live on your coffee table now." definitely bought this.
"rock lit" usually turns out to be a total waste of time, but i always end up reading it, even though it's pretty universally awful, just because i'm interested in the band. case in point, i bet this book sucks but i'm sure i'll blow through it in an afternoon, just because i like modest mouse pretty well. i think i probably bought this just for the novelty factor. i hope someday someone else will too.
speaking of all things slack nineties, here's a book from the guy who gave us "generation x," douglas coupland. i've never read it but i've always wanted to - growing up when i did i've always had the kind of weird fascination with "gen x" that you have when you're just outside something, but you can still see in so clearly, and almost convince yourself you know what it's like. i don't, i mean i was 11 when nevermind came out...i loved it, to be sure, and still do, but it wasn't my moment the way it was for a lot of other people. don't get me wrong, the nineties shaped who i'd become more than i'd probably ever care to admit, but no matter how loose you make the definition of "gen x," i never quite make it. that's okay, or rather should i say, whatever.
also secret message spelled out in the title of this book, reversed. "SHAMPOO PLANET" becomes
"TEN, AL...POOP MA HS"
i'll leave it to you to interpret.
i've been buying up old cds and cassettes to leave in my car lately, just anything that catches my fancy, or stuff i used to own (cosmic thing by the b-52s, matthew sweet's "girlfriend," and, most embarrassingly...jesus jones) but don't necessarily want to have back in my itunes...it's all so cheap that i keep finding myself saying "why not?" just for nostalgia's sake alone, you know? a dollar to hear it in the car right when you walk outside versus what, writing it down, going home and downloading it and listening to it an hour or two later when it's not even funny any more? give me the cd, please. and it won't exactly break my heart if my car ever gets broken into (again) and they get stolen...the day you see me shed tear one for the loss of my jesus jones tape you can take me out back and put me down like old yeller.
another thing i have to assume was always there, and i just didn't notice it before: flower pots, like tons of them. there were more than this, i just didn't feel the need to shoot like four pictures just to convey "a lot of flower pots" to you. neat, i guess, if you're into flower pots.
all the sales they were running. this is easier than writing it down and transcribing it. also as usual check the "on dock" list (bottom right, you can't read it from the picture but that's where it always is) for bigger stuff, furniture, pianos, etc that they can't bring inside because there's no room in the store.
so. snagged some good books, a couple cds and a tape or two, all pretty cheap. i did notice, however, for the first time, that their clothes are totally and utterly a mess. there's no organization, no signs, no indication even where the men's clothes are versus the women's. kind of a glaring achilles' heel there, mifa. otherwise though another good trip to a solid and sadly undervisited store.
also, as an addendum, i swung through the salvo on danny thomas because it was close and i was still hunting for a vcr. not a lot of interesting stuff to report on here but i shot some pics so why don't we take a look anyway.
ps i hate trying to take pictures of the outside of this store. if they would just block off traffic on danny thomas for me every time i come down like i keep emailing the mayor about, then i could probably get a good shot or two, but until then this is the best you can get. somebody call willie, let's set up a meeting. we can make this happen.
usual kickass selection of furniture, really heavy on the dining sets this time, which are not exactly the most interesting thing i've ever seen, but boy were there a lot of them
and a couple couches. i don't really know why i took this picture. i guess because that coffee table on the right is sort of shaped like the starship enterprise. does that really merit a photograph, though?
OHHH i wanted this so bad. if i had a few extra bucks to throw around and it wasn't about to be winter, and there were some clear indication that this set of mallets also came with the balls and the wickets to complete the set, i would have grabbed it and ran, but for all the aforementioned reasons, i did not. but i ask you, dear reader, in our ongoing inquiry into values:
WOULD
YOU
BUYIT?!?!??!?!???
answers in essay form only
almost bought this for my dad
almost bought this for my mom. you can draw your own conclusions about what kind of people they are, based on that. go ahead, i encourage you to.
why is every lamp so goddamn ugly? the one on the right looks like it came from a comfort inn in dubuque, the one in the back in the middle is books, or trying to look like books at least, and the one on the left...well, you can see it, god dammit. it's right there, just showing you what it is. by being it. there
hurrs
this is what i walked with. i wasn't kidding about the jesus jones. a couple okay books, whatever, no big deal.
and that'll be a wrap for this week - gonna try to get another run of regular posting going, as i slowly adjust to the rigors of the work week again, and the site redesign continues (note the store(s) of the week tab at the top, with basic info about each store and links to previous visits) along with beefing up the content on the map of doom!/savings at right, and a couple little other treats as they occur to me. any suggestions would be most appreciated. until next time, take care of yourselves and each other, and don't forget to spay and neuter your pets.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmwah!
d
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
this week we swung through one of the more obscure thrift stores in the memphis area, but one of my favorites nonetheless: the metropolitan inter-faith association's thrift store on vance st, near downtown. i say "obscure" only because it's not listed in the phone book or your average google search for thrift stores in the greater memphis tn area (although it's proudly displayed on my lovingly handcrafted google map in the right column), and it's on kind of an out of the way street in kind of an out of the way neighborhood, but there's a lot of great stuff there, if you can stand the hideous freaking lighting
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
i always get a giggle out of this sign on the way in - "vulnerable" adults could mean so many different things...i mean, isn't everyone vulnerable to something? thankfully i was riding with the incredible hulk on this visit so he was okay to stay in the car by himself, as long as i left the windows cracked a little bit.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
i've made no great secret of my love for old, sturdy, well constructed appliances in the past, and the mifa store usually has a few goodies to scratch that particular itch. while i'll confess to not knowing EXACTLY what a beater/sweeper is, if it walks like a vacuum cleaner and quacks like a vacuum cleaner...you get the drift.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
this is perhaps a little overenthusiastic on the part of the staff. i'm not talking about the price (which is a little high, to be fair) as much as the fact that they bothered to write "vintage" on the label. we get it. the shit's old, it's cool, they don't make stuff like this any more and if they did you wouldn't be able to afford it, so just buy it already. we (the general shopping public, whom i now apparently feel qualified to speak for) can figure all that stuff out on our own without you (the general thrift store employee population) having to write "vintage" on the label for us. this is really getting my goat for some reason...i think if i had a white glove on i would take it off right now and slap this picture across the face and demand that it duel me with pistols for having insulted my intelligence so. i demand satisfaction!
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
so, true to form, i've been looking for a vcr my last few visits (the one i got from amvets on presley for $5 turned out to be a dud - these are the chances we take, people) and as always, the universal rule of thrifting has held true:
WHEN YOU WALK INTO A THRIFT STORE LOOKING FOR ONE SPECIFIC THING, IT AUTOMATICALLY DISAPPEARS.
carve it into a stone tablet. a not too beat up, not too ancient vcr for less than $10/15 bucks that's not the size of a sherman tank and looks like it might actually work. i know it's out there, it's just like finding true love...you have to stop looking.
AWWWWWWW....
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
liberace and edgar allan poe's time-traveling man-baby love child had this in his bathroom for a while but he had to get rid of it because it clashed with his toilet paper
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
what a bunch of knobs
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
so perhaps can anyone who's been to this particular store before in the past verify for me that this huge shelving unit stuffed to the gills with plushy animals has always been there? because i really feel like i never noticed it before. maybe (not so much of a stretch here) i just don't pay enough attention to stuffed animals, that's definitely been a valid criticism leveled against your humble narrator before, but it really felt like i was stumbling across this stuff for the first time - very strange.
had i an infant, toddler, or otherwise diminutive human in my care (god forbid), i would probably buy them some of these, but i can also understand why parents might be a little reluctant. i mean they're basically impossible to clean (you can only use so much antibacterial febreze on something before you're basically just abusing it) and you know your kid is going to just put it all sorts of in their mouth, and they're kind of the definition of "you don't know where that's been." but i would probably get one or two for my demon spawn, if for no other reason then to fight the ever rising tide of inoculations and sanitizations and immunizations that is creating superbugs and superviruses and superdiseases left and right, that will someday mutate into sentient life forms and kill us all. germs are not automatically evil, people...you're supposed to get sick occasionally, even your kids. do you really want humanity to be wiped off the face of the earth by a gigantic talking streptococcus bacteria because you couldn't put down the purel? do you?
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
someday i will take a transatlantic steamer, and this will be my luggage.
yes, even the lamp shade.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
some nifty books this time out. i already have a copy or two of this or i probably would have snagged this one too. this kind of stuff (trivia books) is usually the best bathroom reading there is, hands down. comic strip collections get old real quick, any kind of prose is impossible, and i'm sorry but i just cannot take poetry seriously while i'm crapping. call me lowbrow if you want.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
all you need to put on the front to get my attention is "companion to the pbs television series." in thriftspeak that translates to "hello. i live on your coffee table now." definitely bought this.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
"rock lit" usually turns out to be a total waste of time, but i always end up reading it, even though it's pretty universally awful, just because i'm interested in the band. case in point, i bet this book sucks but i'm sure i'll blow through it in an afternoon, just because i like modest mouse pretty well. i think i probably bought this just for the novelty factor. i hope someday someone else will too.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
speaking of all things slack nineties, here's a book from the guy who gave us "generation x," douglas coupland. i've never read it but i've always wanted to - growing up when i did i've always had the kind of weird fascination with "gen x" that you have when you're just outside something, but you can still see in so clearly, and almost convince yourself you know what it's like. i don't, i mean i was 11 when nevermind came out...i loved it, to be sure, and still do, but it wasn't my moment the way it was for a lot of other people. don't get me wrong, the nineties shaped who i'd become more than i'd probably ever care to admit, but no matter how loose you make the definition of "gen x," i never quite make it. that's okay, or rather should i say, whatever.
also secret message spelled out in the title of this book, reversed. "SHAMPOO PLANET" becomes
"TEN, AL...POOP MA HS"
i'll leave it to you to interpret.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
i've been buying up old cds and cassettes to leave in my car lately, just anything that catches my fancy, or stuff i used to own (cosmic thing by the b-52s, matthew sweet's "girlfriend," and, most embarrassingly...jesus jones) but don't necessarily want to have back in my itunes...it's all so cheap that i keep finding myself saying "why not?" just for nostalgia's sake alone, you know? a dollar to hear it in the car right when you walk outside versus what, writing it down, going home and downloading it and listening to it an hour or two later when it's not even funny any more? give me the cd, please. and it won't exactly break my heart if my car ever gets broken into (again) and they get stolen...the day you see me shed tear one for the loss of my jesus jones tape you can take me out back and put me down like old yeller.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
another thing i have to assume was always there, and i just didn't notice it before: flower pots, like tons of them. there were more than this, i just didn't feel the need to shoot like four pictures just to convey "a lot of flower pots" to you. neat, i guess, if you're into flower pots.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
all the sales they were running. this is easier than writing it down and transcribing it. also as usual check the "on dock" list (bottom right, you can't read it from the picture but that's where it always is) for bigger stuff, furniture, pianos, etc that they can't bring inside because there's no room in the store.
so. snagged some good books, a couple cds and a tape or two, all pretty cheap. i did notice, however, for the first time, that their clothes are totally and utterly a mess. there's no organization, no signs, no indication even where the men's clothes are versus the women's. kind of a glaring achilles' heel there, mifa. otherwise though another good trip to a solid and sadly undervisited store.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
also, as an addendum, i swung through the salvo on danny thomas because it was close and i was still hunting for a vcr. not a lot of interesting stuff to report on here but i shot some pics so why don't we take a look anyway.
ps i hate trying to take pictures of the outside of this store. if they would just block off traffic on danny thomas for me every time i come down like i keep emailing the mayor about, then i could probably get a good shot or two, but until then this is the best you can get. somebody call willie, let's set up a meeting. we can make this happen.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
usual kickass selection of furniture, really heavy on the dining sets this time, which are not exactly the most interesting thing i've ever seen, but boy were there a lot of them
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
and a couple couches. i don't really know why i took this picture. i guess because that coffee table on the right is sort of shaped like the starship enterprise. does that really merit a photograph, though?
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
OHHH i wanted this so bad. if i had a few extra bucks to throw around and it wasn't about to be winter, and there were some clear indication that this set of mallets also came with the balls and the wickets to complete the set, i would have grabbed it and ran, but for all the aforementioned reasons, i did not. but i ask you, dear reader, in our ongoing inquiry into values:
WOULD
YOU
BUYIT?!?!??!?!???
answers in essay form only
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
almost bought this for my dad
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
almost bought this for my mom. you can draw your own conclusions about what kind of people they are, based on that. go ahead, i encourage you to.
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
why is every lamp so goddamn ugly? the one on the right looks like it came from a comfort inn in dubuque, the one in the back in the middle is books, or trying to look like books at least, and the one on the left...well, you can see it, god dammit. it's right there, just showing you what it is. by being it. there
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
hurrs
 |
| From New Album 9/30/08 7:13 AM |
this is what i walked with. i wasn't kidding about the jesus jones. a couple okay books, whatever, no big deal.
and that'll be a wrap for this week - gonna try to get another run of regular posting going, as i slowly adjust to the rigors of the work week again, and the site redesign continues (note the store(s) of the week tab at the top, with basic info about each store and links to previous visits) along with beefing up the content on the map of doom!/savings at right, and a couple little other treats as they occur to me. any suggestions would be most appreciated. until next time, take care of yourselves and each other, and don't forget to spay and neuter your pets.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmwah!
d
3/26/08
3/25/2008 - MIFA, illness and despair
i managed to get myself some weird little allergy cold thing traipsing around in overton park on sunday night - i suppose it's my fault for ignoring the signs and going in after dark anyway. suffice to say i felt like crap all day monday and tuesday, which hampered my usually adventurous spirit, and limited me to one measly store this week, albeit a good one. i'll be shamelessly padding this entry with quick looks at two other local landmarks though. here's how it all went down.
monday - replaced the smashed out window on my car, one of the perils of working downtown, i know. i thought the fact that i drive a ten year old beat up station wagon might have tipped people to the fact that THERE'S NOTHING WORTH STEALING IN MY FUCKING CAR but that was admittedly a bit naive on my part. so, learning experience, anyway. spent the rest of the day doing laundry and sitting around being sick. fascinating, i know.
tuesday - saw the wife and lil' sis off to work, and immediately hit the couch for one of my favorite activities when i'm feeling under the weather...watching the big lebowski. i'm an inveterate achiever, as i'm sure some of you also are, and there's this website where you can watch it for free, along with some other stuff that's not too bad either. perfect, though...for those of us who are too lazy to sort through our box of dvds and actually get the disc out and put it in the player...now you don't have to!
anyway i was inspired. i decided to have a big lebowski day. so while i was out tooling around on summer ave, doing some errands i swung by a local landmark i'd been meaning to visit since the first time i came to town. it was around eleven am, and i remember wondering if they were going to be open or not. if only i'd known...
imperial lanes, 4700 summer ave, 683-5224. when i walked up to the counter i saw a sign advertising their prices from 8am to 12am, and i mistakenly assumed those were their hours. it wasn't until i went to pay and leave that it was explained to me that there are no posted hours because THEY NEVER CLOSE. i'm going to be a little snide and presumptuous and say that many memphians (memphibians?) must not be aware of this fact, because from what i understand this place has been on the verge of being sold or closing down on and off over the past few years, so i'll just state it plainly here:
YOU HAVE A TWENTY FOUR HOUR BOWLING ALLEY IN YOUR TOWN PEOPLE
for those who haven't been, this is what you're missing
total vintage decor, everything about this place is the genuine article, right down to
the old school overhead projector scoring tables (mark it 8, dude)
the SNACK BAR (mmmm) and of course
the sweet ass vintage arcade. in case it's not coming through in this picture that's (from left to right) super pac man, galaga 3, donkey kong, an original popeye machine (kind of rare), and a playchoice-10. that's the one that lets you play like one of ten different NES games on a timer. also, cropped out for necessity's sake was an original teenage mutant ninja turtles console. not the fun co-op one where you could spout all sorts of cool catchphrases and kick those little rat catcher things through walls, but rather the unbelievably hard first game where you spent most of the time trying to avoid getting run over by foot soldiers driving giant steamrollers. awesome. but i digress.
the only gaping hole in the whole operation was the lack of a bar, or one that i could see anyway, but if you can't figure out how to sneak alcohol into a bowling alley then maybe this relationship just isn't destined to work after all (white russians may be a little trickier though). they did however have this cool, mysterious little meeting room in the front of the place, suitable for renting out for your next corporate event/bar or bat mitzvah/freemason initiation/what have you. did i mention my birthday's in september?
i need to move this little travelogue along, i know, but i can't bear to bring myself to leave. i really can't think of enough good things to say about this place. it was eleven in the morning when i rolled in and there had to be at least a dozen old timers hanging around and gabbing at each other in between frames on the other end of the place, and one guy doing that thing that i never really understand where you talk on the phone the whole time you're bowling and don't even watch the ball after you throw it to see what happens, like the bowling is something you HAVE to do while you'd rather be talking on the phone? i don't know, i don't get it.
the shoes were $2.25 to rent i think, and i believe i paid $2.75 for the one game i played. there were other specials too, paying by the hour and different things for different times of day, too many for me to write down or remember but if you call i'm sure they'll happily give you the rundown. i bowled a pretty shoddy 108 but it's been maybe three years since the last time i rolled at all, and anyway if i at least break 100 i'm not too terribly embarrassed. they give you a sheet at the front counter to keep score on, and another one (if you ask for it) that explains the basics of scoring your own game (which was useful, as i hadn't done that in a long time). the guy at the counter was super friendly, the vibe in the place was really great, i'm gonna go ahead and make a standing invitation for anyone to join me for a game, my treat (pay for your own shoes you cheap bastard) and you tell me if it doesn't make you feel good just being there.
one more weird little thing and then i'll move on, promise. in the interest of full disclosure, i should mention that for most of her pregnancy, my mother tended bar at black earth lanes in scenic black earth wisconsin (SO classy, i know), and as a result, walking into a bowling alley and hearing the sounds of the pins crashing and the fans blowing and the people chatting has always made me feel very safe and secure and happy. all of that by way of saying that i don't really expect anyone else to share my ridiculously over the top reaction to this place, i just have to give my perspective on the whole thing, and for me, it was like being in a church must be for some people. i honestly felt reluctant to even walk around and take pictures, like it would be disrespectful or something. it definitely takes something special to make me feel self-conscious about being a jerk wandering around with a camera.
the next time you find yourself all wound up, just take a deep breath, channel walter sobchak and say, in a calm clear voice, "fuck it dude...let's go bowling" and head to the imperial. i might just meet you there.
ps lebowski fest memphis anyone?
okay moving on, i actually made an honest effort to go to some thrift stores today, but with the wife and sis at work and my trusty traveling companion taylor (a.k.a. well never mind, i used up all the good nicknames last week) otherwise occupied, i was forced to go it alone, and in my weakened condition that proved to be a little too much to ask. i had intended to hit up the salvation army on danny thomas blvd, and the DAV and "Shadow of Treasuries" (what an awesome name) on elvis presley blvd but instead opted to settle for only my second store inside the highway loop so far, but one i was REALLY excited to find again, the Metropolitan Inter-Faith Association thrift store, which the wife to end all wives and i had kind of just stumbled across on our first tentative sojourn into the wilds of the greater memphis area, but hadn't been able to find again, for one simple reason:
it's not listed anywhere as a thrift store! this is one of the ways in which i hope this silly little self-indulgent project can actually be kind of useful to people. i get the sense even if you've lived in memphis for a few years, even if you're marginally interested in thrift stores or secondhand culture or ANY of it, you still might not know about this place. it's not in the yellow pages or under a google search for anything to do with the word "thrift," and it's on the corner of Vance and East, in a neighborhood that's not HORRIBLE but definitely leans a little on the rough side, and is (more to the point) not really on a major thoroughfare, so doesn't really get a lot of traffic.
i posted their web site above because it explains what the MIFA actually is, along with the store, hours, sales, etc etc. "well doesn't that render you kind of redundant in this situation then, dave?" you might well be asking yourself, or rather i guess i'm asking myself that now but AHA, dear reader, where would this whole project be without my scintillatingly insightful photographs and commentary? eh? where would it be then?
just kidding. the fact of the matter is i went all the way down there and took a bunch of pictures and notes so i'm going to put them up here so the day doesn't feel like a COMPLETE waste of time. this is one of the smallest thrift stores in town, but they make up for it with real eclecticism (that CANNOT be a word) and a variety of selection that really impressed me
the books were good as well, $1.50 for hardback, less than a buck for paperback, but i won't lie, after spending most of the last two days hopped up on any combination of benadryl, ibuprofen, no-doz, zantac, red wine and B2E (budweiser's answer to sparks, which basically tastes like someone dropped a cough drop into a can of bud and just SHOOK THE SHIT out of it, but which the kroger in poplar plaza is selling for like $1.50 a 4 pack), i was really not feeling up to sorting through the whole thing
two "jogging strollers," for like $30 a piece i think. kind of amusing to see two of them together like that. they look like they're getting ready for a race. have these things not been outlawed yet, though? just for good taste if not safety reasons? anyway "jogging stroller" is a contradiction in terms. think about it.
i didn't say this place was perfect though. 40 BUCKS for this "antique telephone stand" that was covered in...well, i hesitate to speculate WHAT exactly it was covered in, horribly wobbly and was actually no shit growing mold on the inside. i understand you can do a lot with refinishing, and i recognize the importance of creative visualization when exploring the untamed secondhand frontier, but...come on. 40 bucks?
they did have four of my favorite NES games just sitting in a pile, which really made me laugh. yeah i was that weird kid that played all the games that no one else liked, like "Wrath of the Black Manta." excitebike still rules though
i toss words like "eclectic" and phrases like "wide variety of stuff" around here a lot, and i think they probably lose some of their effect over time but that's actually okay, if anything it just reflects how jaded you can actually get after seeing the fiftieth busted old black and white tv sitting there, but then you come to a place like the MIFA store and see, no shit, 104 copies of this book, entitled "Stories to Tell a Cat," and you kind of rediscover your ability to be amused again. it's nice. they must get a fair amount of bulk donations here, because they had 40/50/60+ copies of several other kid's books, but i didn't have the energy to count them all. i wanted to, though
speaking of bulk stuff, also, about 3 or 4 cases of this "gingerbread butter spread" (i LOVE the way that just bounces off the tongue)
and roughly 100 or so boxes of "turkey brine." what is "turkey brine," you might ask?
this is turkey brine. kind of cool, actually, i bet you could brine the hell out of a turkey with that shit. but hey, this isn't "bitter/cooks," let's try to stay on topic or at least pretend we have one, right?
the other really cool thing they have here, and it's the last thing i wanted to mention before we take off, is their "back dock" specials. there's a little printout they hang up by the front door that tells you what they have on the back dock that's for sale that they can't for whatever reason bring into the actual store. bigger stuff like desks and in this case two sweet looking upright pianos for (wait for it...) $25 a piece! the one on the right wasn't really even playable but the one on the left, with a few months' work, would really be back in a more or less serviceable shape. the logistics of trying to deal with something like that were literally making my brain bulge, but after sitting down and playing it for a few minutes, i'd be lying if i said i wasn't tempted.
so, after that ORGY of secondhand insanity (okay, fine, just one store) i found myself drained, defeated, and dehydrated. i chose to finish my abbreviated adventure in the only appropriate way i could think of:
the donut shop. donald's donuts on union, across from schnucks and the old trousseau shop. nothing to write home about but a cinnamon sugar donut and a small cup of coffee only sets you back like a buck fifty or so. nice place to sit and unwind after a tiring day, and they're open until the surprisingly late hour of seven pm most days. i didn't find occasion to bang on the counter and loudly complain about how i watched my buddies die face down in the muck so that i could sit here and enjoy my coffee, though. considering the place was empty i don't think it would have been appropriate, and probably would have frightened the nice asian lady who was working.
to recap:
Imperial Lanes Bowling Center
4700 Summer Ave
Memphis, TN 38122
(901) 683-5224
open 24 F'ING HOURS A DAY
MIFA Store
910 Vance Ave
Memphis, TN 38126
(901) 271-6432
mifa.org
hours/prices/more relevant and on-topic information than i could possibly give you available at their web site
Donald's Donuts
1776 Union Ave
Memphis, TN 38104
(901) 725-5595
nice place to sit and enjoy your coffee
i'll be back next week with a slightly more ambitious trek, god (and my immune system) willing.
until then, shut the fuck up, donny.
monday - replaced the smashed out window on my car, one of the perils of working downtown, i know. i thought the fact that i drive a ten year old beat up station wagon might have tipped people to the fact that THERE'S NOTHING WORTH STEALING IN MY FUCKING CAR but that was admittedly a bit naive on my part. so, learning experience, anyway. spent the rest of the day doing laundry and sitting around being sick. fascinating, i know.
tuesday - saw the wife and lil' sis off to work, and immediately hit the couch for one of my favorite activities when i'm feeling under the weather...watching the big lebowski. i'm an inveterate achiever, as i'm sure some of you also are, and there's this website where you can watch it for free, along with some other stuff that's not too bad either. perfect, though...for those of us who are too lazy to sort through our box of dvds and actually get the disc out and put it in the player...now you don't have to!
anyway i was inspired. i decided to have a big lebowski day. so while i was out tooling around on summer ave, doing some errands i swung by a local landmark i'd been meaning to visit since the first time i came to town. it was around eleven am, and i remember wondering if they were going to be open or not. if only i'd known...
imperial lanes, 4700 summer ave, 683-5224. when i walked up to the counter i saw a sign advertising their prices from 8am to 12am, and i mistakenly assumed those were their hours. it wasn't until i went to pay and leave that it was explained to me that there are no posted hours because THEY NEVER CLOSE. i'm going to be a little snide and presumptuous and say that many memphians (memphibians?) must not be aware of this fact, because from what i understand this place has been on the verge of being sold or closing down on and off over the past few years, so i'll just state it plainly here:
YOU HAVE A TWENTY FOUR HOUR BOWLING ALLEY IN YOUR TOWN PEOPLE
for those who haven't been, this is what you're missing
total vintage decor, everything about this place is the genuine article, right down to
the old school overhead projector scoring tables (mark it 8, dude)
the SNACK BAR (mmmm) and of course
the sweet ass vintage arcade. in case it's not coming through in this picture that's (from left to right) super pac man, galaga 3, donkey kong, an original popeye machine (kind of rare), and a playchoice-10. that's the one that lets you play like one of ten different NES games on a timer. also, cropped out for necessity's sake was an original teenage mutant ninja turtles console. not the fun co-op one where you could spout all sorts of cool catchphrases and kick those little rat catcher things through walls, but rather the unbelievably hard first game where you spent most of the time trying to avoid getting run over by foot soldiers driving giant steamrollers. awesome. but i digress.
the only gaping hole in the whole operation was the lack of a bar, or one that i could see anyway, but if you can't figure out how to sneak alcohol into a bowling alley then maybe this relationship just isn't destined to work after all (white russians may be a little trickier though). they did however have this cool, mysterious little meeting room in the front of the place, suitable for renting out for your next corporate event/bar or bat mitzvah/freemason initiation/what have you. did i mention my birthday's in september?
i need to move this little travelogue along, i know, but i can't bear to bring myself to leave. i really can't think of enough good things to say about this place. it was eleven in the morning when i rolled in and there had to be at least a dozen old timers hanging around and gabbing at each other in between frames on the other end of the place, and one guy doing that thing that i never really understand where you talk on the phone the whole time you're bowling and don't even watch the ball after you throw it to see what happens, like the bowling is something you HAVE to do while you'd rather be talking on the phone? i don't know, i don't get it.
the shoes were $2.25 to rent i think, and i believe i paid $2.75 for the one game i played. there were other specials too, paying by the hour and different things for different times of day, too many for me to write down or remember but if you call i'm sure they'll happily give you the rundown. i bowled a pretty shoddy 108 but it's been maybe three years since the last time i rolled at all, and anyway if i at least break 100 i'm not too terribly embarrassed. they give you a sheet at the front counter to keep score on, and another one (if you ask for it) that explains the basics of scoring your own game (which was useful, as i hadn't done that in a long time). the guy at the counter was super friendly, the vibe in the place was really great, i'm gonna go ahead and make a standing invitation for anyone to join me for a game, my treat (pay for your own shoes you cheap bastard) and you tell me if it doesn't make you feel good just being there.
one more weird little thing and then i'll move on, promise. in the interest of full disclosure, i should mention that for most of her pregnancy, my mother tended bar at black earth lanes in scenic black earth wisconsin (SO classy, i know), and as a result, walking into a bowling alley and hearing the sounds of the pins crashing and the fans blowing and the people chatting has always made me feel very safe and secure and happy. all of that by way of saying that i don't really expect anyone else to share my ridiculously over the top reaction to this place, i just have to give my perspective on the whole thing, and for me, it was like being in a church must be for some people. i honestly felt reluctant to even walk around and take pictures, like it would be disrespectful or something. it definitely takes something special to make me feel self-conscious about being a jerk wandering around with a camera.
the next time you find yourself all wound up, just take a deep breath, channel walter sobchak and say, in a calm clear voice, "fuck it dude...let's go bowling" and head to the imperial. i might just meet you there.
ps lebowski fest memphis anyone?
okay moving on, i actually made an honest effort to go to some thrift stores today, but with the wife and sis at work and my trusty traveling companion taylor (a.k.a. well never mind, i used up all the good nicknames last week) otherwise occupied, i was forced to go it alone, and in my weakened condition that proved to be a little too much to ask. i had intended to hit up the salvation army on danny thomas blvd, and the DAV and "Shadow of Treasuries" (what an awesome name) on elvis presley blvd but instead opted to settle for only my second store inside the highway loop so far, but one i was REALLY excited to find again, the Metropolitan Inter-Faith Association thrift store, which the wife to end all wives and i had kind of just stumbled across on our first tentative sojourn into the wilds of the greater memphis area, but hadn't been able to find again, for one simple reason:
it's not listed anywhere as a thrift store! this is one of the ways in which i hope this silly little self-indulgent project can actually be kind of useful to people. i get the sense even if you've lived in memphis for a few years, even if you're marginally interested in thrift stores or secondhand culture or ANY of it, you still might not know about this place. it's not in the yellow pages or under a google search for anything to do with the word "thrift," and it's on the corner of Vance and East, in a neighborhood that's not HORRIBLE but definitely leans a little on the rough side, and is (more to the point) not really on a major thoroughfare, so doesn't really get a lot of traffic.
i posted their web site above because it explains what the MIFA actually is, along with the store, hours, sales, etc etc. "well doesn't that render you kind of redundant in this situation then, dave?" you might well be asking yourself, or rather i guess i'm asking myself that now but AHA, dear reader, where would this whole project be without my scintillatingly insightful photographs and commentary? eh? where would it be then?
just kidding. the fact of the matter is i went all the way down there and took a bunch of pictures and notes so i'm going to put them up here so the day doesn't feel like a COMPLETE waste of time. this is one of the smallest thrift stores in town, but they make up for it with real eclecticism (that CANNOT be a word) and a variety of selection that really impressed me
the books were good as well, $1.50 for hardback, less than a buck for paperback, but i won't lie, after spending most of the last two days hopped up on any combination of benadryl, ibuprofen, no-doz, zantac, red wine and B2E (budweiser's answer to sparks, which basically tastes like someone dropped a cough drop into a can of bud and just SHOOK THE SHIT out of it, but which the kroger in poplar plaza is selling for like $1.50 a 4 pack), i was really not feeling up to sorting through the whole thing
two "jogging strollers," for like $30 a piece i think. kind of amusing to see two of them together like that. they look like they're getting ready for a race. have these things not been outlawed yet, though? just for good taste if not safety reasons? anyway "jogging stroller" is a contradiction in terms. think about it.
i didn't say this place was perfect though. 40 BUCKS for this "antique telephone stand" that was covered in...well, i hesitate to speculate WHAT exactly it was covered in, horribly wobbly and was actually no shit growing mold on the inside. i understand you can do a lot with refinishing, and i recognize the importance of creative visualization when exploring the untamed secondhand frontier, but...come on. 40 bucks?
they did have four of my favorite NES games just sitting in a pile, which really made me laugh. yeah i was that weird kid that played all the games that no one else liked, like "Wrath of the Black Manta." excitebike still rules though
i toss words like "eclectic" and phrases like "wide variety of stuff" around here a lot, and i think they probably lose some of their effect over time but that's actually okay, if anything it just reflects how jaded you can actually get after seeing the fiftieth busted old black and white tv sitting there, but then you come to a place like the MIFA store and see, no shit, 104 copies of this book, entitled "Stories to Tell a Cat," and you kind of rediscover your ability to be amused again. it's nice. they must get a fair amount of bulk donations here, because they had 40/50/60+ copies of several other kid's books, but i didn't have the energy to count them all. i wanted to, though
speaking of bulk stuff, also, about 3 or 4 cases of this "gingerbread butter spread" (i LOVE the way that just bounces off the tongue)
and roughly 100 or so boxes of "turkey brine." what is "turkey brine," you might ask?
this is turkey brine. kind of cool, actually, i bet you could brine the hell out of a turkey with that shit. but hey, this isn't "bitter/cooks," let's try to stay on topic or at least pretend we have one, right?
the other really cool thing they have here, and it's the last thing i wanted to mention before we take off, is their "back dock" specials. there's a little printout they hang up by the front door that tells you what they have on the back dock that's for sale that they can't for whatever reason bring into the actual store. bigger stuff like desks and in this case two sweet looking upright pianos for (wait for it...) $25 a piece! the one on the right wasn't really even playable but the one on the left, with a few months' work, would really be back in a more or less serviceable shape. the logistics of trying to deal with something like that were literally making my brain bulge, but after sitting down and playing it for a few minutes, i'd be lying if i said i wasn't tempted.
so, after that ORGY of secondhand insanity (okay, fine, just one store) i found myself drained, defeated, and dehydrated. i chose to finish my abbreviated adventure in the only appropriate way i could think of:
the donut shop. donald's donuts on union, across from schnucks and the old trousseau shop. nothing to write home about but a cinnamon sugar donut and a small cup of coffee only sets you back like a buck fifty or so. nice place to sit and unwind after a tiring day, and they're open until the surprisingly late hour of seven pm most days. i didn't find occasion to bang on the counter and loudly complain about how i watched my buddies die face down in the muck so that i could sit here and enjoy my coffee, though. considering the place was empty i don't think it would have been appropriate, and probably would have frightened the nice asian lady who was working.
to recap:
Imperial Lanes Bowling Center
4700 Summer Ave
Memphis, TN 38122
(901) 683-5224
open 24 F'ING HOURS A DAY
MIFA Store
910 Vance Ave
Memphis, TN 38126
(901) 271-6432
mifa.org
hours/prices/more relevant and on-topic information than i could possibly give you available at their web site
Donald's Donuts
1776 Union Ave
Memphis, TN 38104
(901) 725-5595
nice place to sit and enjoy your coffee
i'll be back next week with a slightly more ambitious trek, god (and my immune system) willing.
until then, shut the fuck up, donny.
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