7/22/08 Sojourn pt. 3 (Cans)

here we are, ladies and gentlepeoples, at the end of our journey, or the last leg at least. the goodwill on NORTH highland street in beautiful scenic jackson, TN. both of these goodwills were huge, very well lit, clean, a little on the noisy side, but just OVERFLOWING with clothes, weird books and records, housewares and various accoutrements, basically everything you could look for in a "chain" thrift store experience. in case i forget to mention it elsewhere...VERY highly recommended.



so. what do we have here. your basic weird country records, kind of par for the course anywhere south of the mason dixon line or west of the mississippi. i got (and am still getting) a heavy chuckle or two out of the fact that "gary" seems to have been kind of unceremoniously tacked onto the end of this particular traveling show. clearly horning in on jay's action a little, here, don't you think? i mean wouldn't "peter and paul...PLUS mary" have made you a little suspicious too? okay, probably for totally different reasons, but whatever.



billy blanks! only in the nineties could "kicking an imaginary person's ass under the guidance of a second-rate stuntman" have qualified as a viable exercise program. not to lessen the achievements of anyone out there who managed to lose a bunch of weight and get in imaginary-person-ass-kicking shape using mr. blanks' series of videocassettes, but come on. you basically could have done the same thing by jumping on a trampoline for an hour or two every day, and you probably would have enjoyed yourself a whole lot more, even if you didn't feel like quite such a bad ass. it certainly would have been more fun to watch.

man, maybe i'm in the wrong game here. this blogging thing isn't exactly raking in the dough (full disclosure: my mom did send me some money because i mentioned krumkake...so, in that vein, let me just say LUTEFISK GARRISON KEILLOR LEINENKUGELS), maybe i should get into the instructional fitness video market. HEY maybe i could dream up some sort of trampoline jumping/party political propaganda cross promotion thing and use it to fund my presidential campaign! for once, a candidate who can truly and honestly claim not to be in the pocket of any special interest group or political action committee, because his campaign is solely funded by his landmark, award winning series of trampoline fitness videos (and his mom) - just think of it!



oh yeah. so this store. this place was HUUUGE, just like the other goodwill, with an even bigger electronics/housewares/various junk area, and running the same "50% off green tag" weeklong rolling sale that the other goodwill was...nice to see that level of coordination. on the all, these big rural stores have some drawbacks (with such a...how can i put this...fashionistically challenged pool of donations to draw from, you run into some speed bumps trying to find decent, non-hilarious clothes) but they're a damn sight better than some of the gross, moist, vagrant-ridden urban stores i hack through on a semi-regular basis. again, in the words of john denver, thank god that i am a country boy. who can read.



okay, i'm going to play a little fast and loose with the continuity of the rest of this store, mainly because i want to end on a beautiful visual poem that i've kind of dreamed up for you, my receptive and appreciative viewing audience. just humor me. anyway this is how huge this store was, with about 40/50 more feet behind me of various books and furniture and housewares and all that jazz.



this definitely looks like a cosby sweater that i got a couple of weeks ago



so does this stuff, in addition to looking like that weird substance from the second ghostbusters movie that made people hate each other, and then the ghostbusters had to coat the statue of liberty in it, in what has to be the weirdest bukkake scene ever filmed, and then drive the damn thing through manhattan with an advantage while people sang jackie wilson songs to it...strange, how odd some things sound when you describe them in the abstract. anyway this stuff is apparently paraffin wax or something and it's good to put all over your skin but you know what so is mayonnaise and you won't see me doing that either



okay home stretch time. some beautiful cups for the store, someday



along with some frikkin' hilarious america-themed stuff (another requirement for any serious thrift store)



another appearance by my arch nemesis...as holmes had his moriarty, optimus prime had his megatron, and evel knievel had his common sense, i have doctor norman vincent peale. someday we will destroy each other. unless he's already dead. he might be. in which case i guess i have to dig up his corpse and mess with it or something. does that make me seem petty? i suppose so.



and THIS thing, which we actually bought and brought home and is currently occupying a place of honor on our bathroom wall, adjoining framed portraits of big bird, cookie monster, and kure kure takora.

okay, time for the big finish. before we get off at the last stop here i'd like to say happy birthday (again) to my beautiful wife (this whole trip was basically a birthday present for her), much thanks for the suggestion to visit jackson in the first place to mizz peggy noir and her fabulous blogtastical blogification, and a special thank you to el rodeo mexican restaurant (best quesadillas in jackson) and that weird gelato place we went to in henderson (easily the best gelato in henderson, tennessee...hands down)...all of it made for a weekend we will not soon forget. unless we try really really hard.

okay, to close, here is a visual poem i have composed, entitled "Cans." for your edification.



















Lafayette Thrift Market
226 W Lafayette St
Jackson, TN 38301
(731) 424-9438

Goodwill
1688A S Highland Ave
Jackson, TN 38301
(731) 427-4788

Goodwill
53 Carriage House Dr
Jackson, TN 38305
(731) 660-3888

www.drankbeverage.com

also thanks to chris for the original sojourn in the first place

chocolate love, all

d